elizabeth lee

22, NC-->NYC, Newfound New Yorker

shivers.  just got back from memorial day weekend in north carolina, which was the best seeing everybody!

but, as the final hours approached before i had to go back to ny, two of my close friends and i sat at a diner and had a major heart to heart about what we were going through, how we felt about what we wanted to accomplish, things we were frustrated with…you know, the good stuff.  

crazy enough, 5 hours after im back from north carolina and while im settled in bed ready to go to sleep, i get a random text from one of my mentors here in nyc basically letting me know god knows everything im going through—all details big and small.  good gosh, my mentor didn’t even know what i was sharing with my friends earlier.  

all i have to say is shivers…

God, you’re good.  too good. 

FAVOR AIN’T FAIR

feeling very blessed.

not to sound corny and stereotypical, but it seriously all comes together in His perfect timing.

two years in this journey of job searching — bad jobs, amazing jobs, job heartbrokenness, turning down job offers, freelancing over and over again has led to this…

i finally got an offer i accepted today.  by no means is it my “dream” job, but it is for a very reputable company where i can grow, i have an amazing super nice boss (rare in fashion industry), and i still am doing merchandising, which i wanted to do.  i also got offered a huge pay increase, more than they offer any assistant merchandiser at my company—unheard of!

seriously, why are you so good to me, God?  looking back, i’m seeing all of this and realizing that He orchestrated it all so that it all fits so perfectly in the most mundane way.

thank you jesus. 

my mentor here in nyc just KILLED it with this quote that she shared on her facebook.  she articulates exactly how i feel when it comes to body image..it’s too good not to share:

"I find myself apologizing for unnecessary cultural stigmas at times. Whether being curvy was acceptable or not, it’s who I am and what I happen love about myself. I can’t apologize for having round curves in the front and the trunk just like I can’t apologize for something just as natural as being 5ft 9 in tall. I find that culture has a narrow perspective on what is acceptable and it is less and less about celebrating a true woman’s curve or diversity but more about fitting in a tiny box. It’s sad really, because something worth celebrating, loving and admiring has become so limited. But choosing to not limit yourself when a world tries to is a worthwhile battle, because our vibrancy is too valuable to be dulled.”

#boom

one of my greatest fears is that i will always submit to the standard of others rather than submitting to the standard already created by my perfect creator.

It’s so easy! After all, from the time you’re born, and then throughout life, you’re put in a box. You’re defined by your family of origin, address, education, experience, bank account, credit rating, employer, friends, race, and ethnicity. You’re called one thing after another: poor, spoiled, uneducated, inexperienced, young, old, troublemaker, and shy. You can allow those words and labels to limit you. A teacher, parent, colleague, or ex can call you loser, fat, ugly, and hopeless — and those labels can stick, can hurt, can damage you because you start to believe them.

Remember that old saying, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me?” That thought may help you keep a resilient will, but it’s not true about the heart. You can be hurt plenty by labels like stupid, ignorant, alcoholic, addict, criminal, weak, pitiful. Names like these can break your spirit as much as physical sticks and stones can whack your body — especially if you believe them and begin to use them on yourself. You can be brought to your knees, stopped by life before you even get started. Even when those names reveal something true about you, they are at best a partial truth — as well as a misleading one. If you allow those labels to loom larger in your heart and mind than the promises of God, they can fool you into missing God’s truth about who you are, into not pursuing the purpose God has had in mind for you from the beginning of time.

Undaunted (Christine Caine) pg. 45

three risks that i need to take in 2014 (in no particular order):

1) no sugar till B R O O K L Y N

guys, i love sugar.  i dream about desserts.  as i am writing this, there is a krispy kreme doughnut in my kitchen that is S C R E A M I N G my name!  however, as my thighs have continued to bloat sideways in both directions, i think it is time to do something about my sugar habit.  i am convinced sugar is the number one reason i am staying pleasantly plump. so, as i am now committed to no sugar for 7 days (until the move to BK); the doughnut that was crying out to me this morning was rejected as i said NO and continued to eat my steamed goguma and down my green juice.  

this may seem like an easy task for many of you, but for someone that craves froyo and doughnuts on an hourly basis i ask that you please keep me in your prayers.

risk: i might die of intense sugar cravings.

2) move more

for some reason, i don’t really like to move.  this can also be directly related to why i stay pleasantly plump.  

move more = go to the gym more, walk instead of subway/cab (THIS IS HARD DURING THE WINTER!), clean my apt more, etc

risk: i guess there is no risk to this one. 

3) stop being such a scaredy cat

take more risks.  reach out to more people.  go on more dates.  apply to the jobs even though you don’t feel qualified (within reason, of course)

just do it liz, just do it.  

risk: rejection, feeling of failure, lower self-esteem, dip in confidence

however, i was made to conquer all of these things.

i was made for this. 

my anthem for 2014

i don’t know why, but i am starting to fall in love with writing on this tumblr blog all over again. i am by no means a very articulate or even good writer, and i think a lot of my friends or anybody who reads this can attest to that.

but, i find a lot of freedom in writing about what im thinking these days.  sure, most of it’s kind of heavy and faith related, but whatever!  i love tumblr for this exact reason; i can spew it all out on here!  i also am loving reading my friend’s blog posts on here too (hannah, jlee, jhee), i guess we’re all kinda sorta on the same page!

yesterday, i wrote about doing the small things right as one of the things i felt most convicted about this year.  i have many small convictions, but if we’re talking about big picture for the whole year that will hopefully spill into my whole life, there are only two main ones that i am focused on right now.  like i mentioned before, the first one was doing the small things right and being diligent…

…the second one is to live fearlessly this year.  towards the end of last year, i just felt like God was telling me that He doesn’t give His children a spirit of timidity, so why am i living half the time fearful or scared of certain things or situations?  

2 Timothy 1:7 sums it up best:

"For God does not give us a spirit of timidity, but one of power, love, and self-discipline."

which is also known as one of my bible verse anthems for this year. 

time to reawaken dreams and passions and create situations for myself that i couldn’t have before due to being fearful.  i don’t think it’s going to be easy at all, but nothing worth having comes easy, right?!

also, i dont know what it is, but im feeling extra grateful for all my friends, near and far.  i may not have 100000 friends, but they sure are top notch, next level people!  just felt like i also had to say that. 

that is all.

do the small things right

"do the small things right, and the rest will follow."

…is what i heard from one of my favorite podcasts at the very beginning of this year as everybody was talking about goals and resolutions as we begin 2014. 

that phrase at the top is i phrase i hear sometimes.  i mean, it’s definitely not something new or monumental or something i haven’t heard before.  however, as we are now in the seventh day of the new year, it is a phrase that is running through my head DAILY as i embark on 2014.  

you see, i’m not really good at the small things.  to be honest, i don’t really like being diligent.  i want big things and i want them fast.  if im being very honest, i want things to be perfect without TOO much effort. i mean, who doesn’t? 

for example, even when it comes to cleaning my room, it may appear clean, but soon enough you will find that there are clothes stuffed into the corner or into the dresser to give the outward appearance of “MY ROOM IS CLEAN!”  until you just pull those clothes out of the corner and realize your room is messy again. you could say that’s also a sign of pure laziness, but i say it’s because im just not good at the small things.  

how about something a little more relatable, i want a full-time job, i need a full-time job, you see?  more than that, i need a job so that i can make money, which will pay for my rent. last year, as i worked at a couple of jobs that i didn’t want, i.e reed krakoff for the 2nd time, i realized that i didn’t even do the small things right because i was too busy focusing on how i could get a bigger position at a better company.  i felt like i was too good for what i was doing!  if i looked back on it now, i would have given myself a reality check—i wasn’t there to remind them of how much i had improved or how i felt so overqualified.  i was called to be diligent and do the job right, no matter how minute the task!  now, when i think back i feel ashamed of the way i acted sometimes. 

i guess the point is, more than anything, i feel really convicted that if i just happen to the do small things right, then maybe, just maybe, the big things may cross my path.

x

i want to be that person that chooses to still praise God even when my circumstances tell me otherwise because i want to choose to have joy over pain and faith over disbelief knowing that He stands before any of my trials AND celebrations. 

also, that is one major run-on sentence. 

#WhoCares
#IDon’t

2014

2013 was teachable.

2014, be purposeful and filled with favor.

i truly believe the best is yet to come. here’s to onward looking and not to past dwelling.